Dear Israel, Lebanon, Iran and the rest of you morons…

*note…This is a rant.  If you’re gonna complain about the harshness of my words here…tough. Don’t read it then. I’m tired of living under the threat of world war for two little countries across the planet who can’t be bothered with diplomacy. TWO (not one) nations who believe terrorism is the only way to solve anything).

…lighten the fuck up already. All of you. Grow the hell up, and someone PLEASE stop this bullshit now. For the place where human civilization is it’s oldest and therefore logically most advanced, you guys act like a bunch of little kids. Ill behaved little kids. One of you has to be the grown-up and say “OK…you got me…you win and I’m just gonna let it go.” The borders have been drawn; there really is no reason to fight over land. If any of you would attain a cool head for once, you might realize that “OK…there’s alot of people here and only a bit of land…maybe we should just let everybody live where they live and stop whining about it”.

At the risk of being accused of being anti-Semitic (I’m not, by the way…I have Jewish blood in me to be honest), in my mind Israel does not really have a claim on the land…it was 4,000 fucking years ago that you owned it…and then you left. Whether you left of your own volition or were coerced doesn’t really matter. Give it up. I think that the worst thing ever done to world peace was giving one guys’ land to another guy. I mean, it was a noble idea, but look what the results were. Not only that, but YOU (israel) are the bad guys here. Hezbollah kidnapped two soldiers so you bombed 1000 innocent citizens…sorry, but no pity for you from here anymore.

Seriously if you guys need land this badly, come take Saskatchewan off our hands. Shit…we’ll even help move your holy artifacts if that’s what it takes. And don’t worry saskatchewanites…you can come live west of that…heck most of us this side of three hills are from saskatchewan already. Calgary could be called Regina Mach II ffs.

Anyways…back to the middle east. Give Israel Regina and Lebanon Saskatoon. Build a wall between the too. If someone doesn’t like that idea, flip it the other way around. Both cities have some good stuff…Saskatoon has a river and Regina has…um…Moose Jaw and a potash plant. Don’t try and tell me this little war is over religion, cuz we all know it isn’t. It’s over land and purely land. Maybe oil, but I don’t think so. That and a couple of arrogant little kids both needing to get the last word in. You little twerps of the world community are gonna cause a nuclear war cuz you just can’t act like humans. Maybe a better idea would be to let you losers destroy each other and all the land there. Then nobody can have it. Plus the added bonus that the rest of us wouldn’t have to hear you guys all bitching about each other and wasting the air we breathe with your hot air.

I truly have had enough of this constant fighting with zero diplomacy. You guys really do need to stop.

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