The links…target practice on the head cheese..

So golfing was a good time yesterday.  As I mentioned I hadn’t played in a few years so I didn’t shoot all that well.  My first tee off was probably my best one.  I didn’t use my driver as it’s a hard enough club for me to hit even when I was well practiced, so I pulled out my trusty old Tite Lies 3 wood.  Man…that is the worlds most forgiving club.  Anyways I ended up shooting a 107 on some pretty loose scoring; I wasn’t playing to score well and was more worried about not killing anyone.

I had a fairly consistent problem of twisting my wrist on connection and opening the club face…I shot more shots off to the right than anything else.  I lost a few balls in the brush due to that.   I was trying to concentrate on not doing it, but I gotta say I was pretty uncomfortable holding the clubs and therefore was gripping too tight.  Donovan (our president and COO) and Virgil (our corporate council) were not having their best games but were definitely the best of us out there.  Donovan hits hard and for the most part straight and Virgil is very consistent and was putting really well.  I think Donovan had the lowest score at the end, but as I said we weren’t being super competitive and the scoring may have been a bit loose.  Klags (director of sales) has a hard hit but tends to be a little bit wild; still much better than I mind you.  In the end him and I had about the same score.

At the 12th hole after several very inconsisten holes I decided to go to one club; I figured it was important I get one club working well, and decided it to be my 5 iron.  So from 12 thru 18 I used only the 5 iron off the tee box regardless of the hole length.  We were shooting from the blues so even the par 3s my 5 iron wasn’t in real danger of far overshooting.  Aside from the consistent opening of the club head, I was having serious position problems with my irons.  I must have hit the middle of the ball 20 times, causing it fly low and wild.  About the only shots I was consistently ok with were short chips; those have always been my best shots.  My putting was as inconsistent as I assumed it would be.

On the 15th hole I was in the middle of the fairway, Klags was deep in the woods on the left and Donovan and Virgil were in a light bush on the right.  Donovan was a bit in front of Virgil who was shooting out from under some branches.  I looked at Donovan and suggested he might not want to stand right there, and he was like “meh…whatever” Virgil winds up and hits a tree trunk, bouncing the ball basically back to where it started.  Takes is second shot and grazes the branches just enough to smoke Donovan right in the shin!  He rolled around on the ground for a minute then got up laughing; there wasn’t that much velocity so there wasn’t much damage.

We continued on and on 18 I finally did it.  I ascended myself from “OK Salesguy who’s a bit odd” into “stories at company functions for a long time” status (actually I put myself there a while ago when in New Jersey visiting a customer we went to a Karaoke bar full of clean cut college kids and I sang NiN’s “closer”, but thats a whole other story).   My tee shot duffed into some brush and I dropped infront of the tee boxes.  Hit a pretty good shot from there and got to within 100 yards of the green, a bit off to the right.   All 3 of us except Donovan were pretty even, but spread across the fairway; Klags left, Virgil in the middle and me right.  Donovan was up near the green after a spectacular 300 yard tee shot.  Klags and Virgil were to my left and Donovan was a infront and right of me.  The hole was a bit left.  I wound up with my pitching wedge, aiming a bit more left than I needed too due to my consistent right side hitting all game.  I yelled “heads up” before my shot as I always do when someones in front of me; I know I can be unpredictably wild.  Donovan waves and looks towards me and so I know he’s aware and the other guys are kind of behind so I know they’re safe.  My practice swing was perfect, and I felt good; I was finally going to hit the approach shot that works; it’s going to get tons of loft, hit the green and stick.  I visuallized the shot, and set up.  I swung back and out of the corner of my eye saw Donovan start to walk forwards a bit…down swung and nailed the ball.  Right in the middle of the ball.  Face open.  To the right, low and fast.  Sending the ball right into Donovan’s hamstring.  This is the president of the company.  My boss.  And I just hit him in the ass with a golf ball that was still accelerating, from about 20 yards away.  It was one of those moments where time stops and you just say to yourself “ohhhhh shit…”  He hit the ground hard and it looked like it hurt.  The Imperial Death March from star wars starts playing in my head, thoughts of calling an ambulance and all that start spinning.

Now, Donovan was a kick boxer for years and one of those natural athlete guys so he’s a pretty tough cat.  Plus the ball hit him in the fleshy part of the hamstring so did no more than leave a welt, and in the end it didn’t hurt him much but damn; talk about a potential CLM!  Anyways, I was just a tad embarassed after that, not too mention incredibly sheepish, so I didn’t even bother finishing out the hole after that.   I just thought about my resume and the job market out there.  It will probably be a little while before I’m invited to play golf with the boss again.

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1 comment so far

  1. Duane on

    Solid. Pick on Donovan day.


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