Rockstar Supernova or Shlockstar Superlame?

Seriously, this show is fucked beyond all recognition now. It’s gotten completely stupid. I don’t generally have any use at all for shows like this, but Rockstar kind of sucked me in a bit because for the most part the contestants actually have some talent. A fair amount of it actually. That and it doesn’t look like a bunch of karaoke stars…they have talent AND they have presence. For the most part. And I thought that the band would do the right thing and pick people based on how they fit the band; at the end of the day, it’s their careers they’re messing with here. Frankly, I think they’ve blown it. Grade A clusterfuck.

First off…that ridiculous Zayra chick should have been gone about 5 weeks ago. She can entertain, but this is Rockstar-Supernova, not RockStar-Selena on Crack. It’s a band that comes from Motley Crue, Guns and Roses and Metallica for christ’s sake. Why is she on the show still? I can think of two reasons:

1: (Most probable) Jason Newstead wants to bone her. It’s obvious he’s in lust with her (God knows why…she looks like a bitchy Marilyn Manson in a skirt). Are they keeping her until he gets into her too short and too obvious skirt?

2: (Even more most probable) Executive producer and host Dave Navarro has crossed the line from somewhat cocky guitar guy into messianic complex pinhead and assumes the audience are retards and don’t realize that she’s only there cuz she’s “good TV”. Guess what Dave…she isn’t good TV. She’s good at making people who may have checked out the supernova album decide ahead of time not to, cuz they’re morons for keeping her around.

Her performance last night was so ridiculously out of place and out of sync with the whole concept of the show, I could hardly believe they let her do it. And then they all said how beautiful her song was…do any of them have a clue? That was the most contrived piece of shit… it sounded so much like every other latin love ballad out there I closed my eyes and saw Ricky Martin singing it. And both Iglesias’.

Secondly…Toby. This guy should be in a boy band. At best a country band. Again, he can sing, but again he is sooooo not dirty rock n roll. They only keep him around cuz the 14 year old girls think he’s dreamy. Oy. His last two performances have been lame at best and completely vegased out shlock at worst.

The band’s dynamics are obvious; Gilby’s the brain, Jason’s the heart and the serious musician, and Tommy’s along to promote himself and get laid. Whether they see themselves as a fairly permanent band or not will have a big impact on who they pick. But overall I’ve been disappointed with the show thus far…I expected to hear some great rock and roll and so far i’ve seen some karaoke-ish rock and roll and some lame assed pop with the odd bright spot shining through.

In my opinion there are 4 people who deserve to be there, and I think the final three are obvious to everyone.

First off, Ryan Starr has gotten very good over the past few weeks. I always thought he was the best male singer on the show, but he had so little presence I just didn’t see him making it. Well he’s stepped it up, and I totally dig his angsty vibe now. Buttt…is he a rock star? Unless one of the other three drops the ball I think he’ll be fourth place. If he continues on I could see him fronting a successful rock band. I really would have rather heard his original song last night than that useless tripe that Zayra “wrote”.

Lukas…the biggest and most obvious star. No fear, huge presence, interesting voice, but, sadly, too goth/metal for Supernova. A hard fought third place or else first. No worries if he get’s third tho, cuz this guy will be a star anyways if he can find the right support people. From the first show he was my favorite, and I picked him to win. Last few shows tho, I can see the band is leaning towards Magni. It’s going to come down to whether they want a huge Axl Rose type image guy who needs a bit of polish or if they want a straight ahead type who visually fits the band a bit better and needs no polish.  Also, can the show really pick a homeless Toronto kid as the winner two seasons in a row?
Delana. She’s huge. She is so far beyond anyone else here as far as polish, professionalism and presence. I can’t get past her too Janis Joplin-y voice tho. She IS going to be in the final two. I suspect that the band is going to go with a boy singer in the end tho. Again, no worries for her…she has the chops and the presence to make it anyways. I’d go see her live. Probably buy her album too.
Magni. He’s a great singer and extremely professional and works the crowd well. He seems kind of…uh…cover band-ish to me tho. He just doesn’t pop like Lukas or Delana, tho he’s a better singer than Lukas and the band thinks he’s the shizzum. Plus he fits their look better than the other two I think. At the end of the day, the band needs to decide if they want to take the safe road and go with him and record one album that does ok or gamble on the opportunity to be huge and long term by taking Lukas or Delana. Whichever place Lukas doesn’t get, Magni will get.

At the end of the day, I’m sucked into the show and will watch it through to the end. At this point tho, I haven’t seen anything that excites me about this band when they release. And I’ve been (at one time or another) a fan of every band the guys in it were in. Even Heart and Voivod to some extent. Flotsam and Jetsam (Newstead’s pre metallica band) was pretty good in it’s time. I guess I maybe didn’t dig Mayhem so much, but definitely all their name bands.

This actually started out as a rant against the show and turned into an analysis…hmmm…


1 comment so far

  1. Taylor Lange on

    Monday, February 12, 2007

    I know this is really late as the show is done, but I just want to say that everybody on the show sucked except for Lukas and Storm. I hated Delana because of tha way she would bag on everyone (especially Lukas), and her horrible voice. I think Delana is a male descuised as a female. Anyway, Ryan, Toby, Patrice, Zayra, Josh, Jill, Jenny, and everyone else were totally awful ezcept Magni. Lukas Rossi is the best male rockstar I have ever seen in my entire life. I am thirteen years, old, and I have this love problem: I have a crush on Lukas and an actor named Tom Welling. Both men are hot, cute, and have wonderful smiles. Keep up the fantastic work Lukas! You’re the best of the male singers!!!

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