Flying, VON and the joys of Airporting…
So this Sunday I leave for Boston at 7 AM. 7AM!!! SEVEN FUCKING AM! On a Sunday. The one day a week I can usually actually get up at a normal human time. Now I get to wake up even earlier than my usual 4:30 AM time so I can get on a plane for 5 hours. Which would be ok if I could TAKE A BOTTLE OF FUCKING WATER with me. Which of course, I can’t.
“Sleep on the plane” you might say.
“Suck it!” I might say back.
Seriously…has anyone who says this ever actually flown? Sure…u can sleep the whole flight away, it’s not a problem. But you still feel like u just worked a 15 hour day and haven’t slept in a week. It’s the recycled air and the stinky fat lady with way too much perfume on in the next seat that cause that. And the dehydration. Which wouldn’t be a problem if I could TAKE A BOTTLE OF FUCKING WATER with me. Which I can’t. As I mentioned earlier.
Wow…how did I get so grumpy about this? I usually love travelling. And Boston is a pretty awesome city; great food, beautiful architecture, relatively friendly (as far as Eastern cities go), college girls. So why am I so pissy this morning? I do have a crazy head cold coming on, so landing is going to be an “earily” uncomfortable experience…but I’ve been through that before. No, I’m just being pissy for the sake of it I guess. The American media fear mongers have taken a generally enjoyable thing for me (flying) and turned it into a nightmarish conglomeration of security fears, timing for connections fears, and over regulated carry on concerns. Not to mention the joy of customs:
“Your GUILTY! Prove that you’re not! You can’t, can you???”
“You don’t love the president! I can see it in your eyes you fucking terrorist muslim prick!”
“Uh…a trade show; I’ll be coming back on Thursday evening”
“Ever been a communist?? I’m thinking you have. You look suspiciously like a red muslim.”
“I work in the VoIP industry”
“Oh like Skype? Go ahead, have a nice day sir.”
Of course once you’re through customs you get to the security gate.
“Any liquids, solids, animal matter, cloth or electronics with you today sir?”
“Nothing against the rules.”
“We’ll have to confiscate your shaving cream, toothpaste, pitstick, laptop, ipod, cellphone, shoes, belt, any metal objects (sharp or dull), all power supplies, comb and chewing gum cuz you could make a bomb out of all of those. The 4 packs of matches and razor are ok though.”
Hehe… really it’s not all that bad. My biggest problem with flying is the “hurry up and wait” bit. I’m one of these guys who has to get to the airport early, and then isn’t comfortable til I’m sitting on the plane. At which point I normally throw on the iPod, drink my bottle of water and then fall asleep. If only I could TAKE A BOTTLE OF FUCKING WATER with me. Which, of course, I can’t. As previously discussed (This really ticks me off, if you haven’t noticed. Why not have security check all the water in the stores inside the terminal so that people like me who are prone to dehydration on a plane can take care of themselves? Heck, let me buy and deliver it to the plane even, like some airports do with duty free. I would be cool with that. Waiting for the stews to come by with water is great if you’re seated in the first 5 rows. Which of course I never am when I fly corporately). Once I’m on the plane I’m fine; it’s all the security and waiting and making connections and all that stuff which drives me nuts. My ex-girlfriend once said that travelling with me was a very stressful experience (uhh her words weren’t quite so polite).
So Boston…woot. The VON show is a pretty exciting event these days; there’s an energy there which is not unlike comdex at the start of the dot com bubble. We’ve got some cool announcements we’ll be making, and I have some important meetings with important potential clients. As I mentioned earlier, the food in Boston is awesome, (especially if you like seafood) and the architecture is sexy. And college girls whee. The group going down from here is a cool bunch: Duane, Chris, Rob, Aaron, Dan, Skibum, Donovan, Jason…all in all should be a fun time outside of the working bits. Even if the sales guys are completely looked down on as a lower life form by some of those people. I can dig it tho…doesn’t bug me really.
Watch the CounterPath news releases page for some exciting news bits throughout VON, I would think. Not that I know of anything specific, but the VON show is what it is, and if there’s going to be news it’s there.