The Valentines Wrap Up and The Art of Kissing
People tend to be split about Valentines day; they either love it as it is or hate it as a corporate “hallmark” holiday. Myself, I love it as a corporate “hallmark” holiday 😛 . I disagree with the need to pay twice as much for half as much choice at dinner, I disagree with the spike in flower costs, yet I understand both. I also agree with Duane’s metaphor from yesterday that for many people, Valentine’s is the blue box of holidays. It’s like church for many people; that one day of a week where they’re good people while the rest of the week they kick puppies or something. Of course I exaggerate, but for many people in the Western world, Valentine’s is one of 3 times a year they do something nice for the person who they should be nicest too all year long. Of course, that may be a bit Utopian, as we all know that any relationship isn’t all sugary goodness, but really, I’ve never felt that I should need a special day or reason to send my girl flowers or take her to dinner… all I need is the money in my pocket. Valentine’s just gives me an excuse to do it a bit bigger and with more flourish.
Having said all that, I also believe Valentine’s is an opportunity for couples to grow together; there’s so much romanticism in the media that it’s hard not to get caught up in it. There are also many resources and activities available that aren’t always there. And, of course, it’s a perfect time to advance a relationship you’re in or take something to the next level. And just to go the extra mile on those other things we should be doing anyways. As you can see, I have a somewhat self contradictory view of the day; sorry…things aren’t always black and white, are they.
So my personal experience…stop reading if you don’t wanna hear it 😛 . I was in kind of a gray area for yesterday’s Valentine’s; I haven’t been dating the girl I’m with long enough to really use the opportunity to go to new heights in our relationship, yet we are close enough and the feelings are strong enough that it was indeed a special event for us. Basically it becomes another date but with gifts and cards and some more feeling attached to it. Which is a good thing. We had an awesome evening, and both enjoyed ourselves.
We began the evening at my house with a meal Ruth cooked for us. We were short on time, so it was a fairly rushed dinner, but it was awesome. She’s a pretty amazing cook from what i’ve experienced thus far, and I look forward to eating anything she makes. She can make simple meals like spaghetti an awesome event, and she bakes too! (although I’ve not yet had the opportunity to experience her baking) She also thinks of the little touches; for example last night she had chocolate dipped strawberries prepared for dessert. Me, I’m happy if I can remember the barbeque sauce for a steak, as cooking, especially for someone, carries alot of stress with it for me.
After dinner, she gave me the card she made (!!!!) for me and I actually got a bit misty that she took the time to create something with that much thought and soul in it. It was an awesome card with a beautiful inscription, and I felt a bit like I’d dropped the ball with my store bought hallmark. I gave her the earrings I bought her and she loved them. Those earrings are the only jewellery I’ve ever bought for someone i’m dating (other than a watch once, but that’s doesn’t carry the same weight as other jewellery); it speaks alot to my comfort level and connection with this girl that I’m able to feel confident that I’m buying something that’s “her” in that forum; I never have before She saved the card I bought til later.
After dinner and exchanging cards and gifts we went out to a workshop she’d signed us up for, which was her gift to me. It was a kissing workshop at The Art of Loving, a local… er… love shop. Now, we’ve never had issue with kissing, it’s something we’re both good at (at least together) but we both thought it would be fun an interesting to do. There’s a little more…uh … comfort in a workshop like this than in some of the others that place has 😉 , at least for a couple that’s relatively new. It was a totally cool thing; there were communication techniques that are useful in any aspect of a relationship, and a few little tricks we learned. It was fun, and it was a totally relaxed and comfortable atmosphere, which is something I had been a bit concerned about. We spent a very close and intimate couple of hours together, and although there were 8 couples in total involved, it’s set up discreetly enough that we never really saw or even spoke to the others. Of course during the workshop you should be focussed on your partner and the task at hand anyways. I totally didn’t know what to expect and was pleasantly surprised with the workshop. I’d recommend it to any couples who are open to that kind of thing…it’s fun, it’s exploratory, it’s educational. New couples can learn about each other and longer term ones can re-ignite things. And people who can’t kiss well might learn how, or at least how to get better.
We went back to my place and I gave her her card and we had some more strawberries and the rest of her birthday cake from last weekend. All in all, it was a great Valentine’s day experience, and in the end we did advance our relationship. Although I must say that I did end up 2 and a half hours late for work this morning 😛 (er…in my defense, I do start work at 6 AM, so I probably STILL beat most of you into the office).